And yes, I mean it...

Ok, I am not happy... I am really not happy...

Well... Part of me is... But the other part is screaming at me with a "WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU DOING!!!!!!!"... So I tell you, this is the situation...

The girl... She is amazing... I would love to say How much she made me happy the other night... When I finished work... But no... No she didn't... She tore my world apart like todays newspaper with the image of a little puppy on the front... At first it looked as if it was going well, the little puppy, and then she tore the poor sods head off... And stood there laughing at the mischievious deed whilst we sit there and cradle said newspaper printed puppy in out arms and look for tape...

And so I am sure my dear and faithful readers of this journal, of which I am certain are few and so very far between, that you are wondering what actually happened, because we all know that the puppy was a metaphor.

So, let us turn back the time one week. One little tiny week, where we find ourselves talking. And the phrase is, "I really like you..." then there was a small break, "... but I want to be sure..."

*Ok, so what do we do here? Do we go, "Either you like me or you don't."? "And?!..." or are we subtly saying, "I know..." Make up your mind...*

"... Take as much time as you need... I am not going anywhere..."

*Should I have said that?! I don't know... But I did.*

Ok, so I spent two days with a smile on my face. Two days. My cheeks were killing me. I was happy anyway. I was that happy, I didn't care that I was doing a twelve hour shift on the Friday... I didn't care.

So, two days before, "Oh can (CENSORED) come along?" "Yeah sure why not."

This is where I felt I could be losing. Suddenly a guy comes along for a few drinks, and it is all falling apart... What harm could it do? I am still the better guy I must be...

So, here it is... The night... The night where we all go out... Where I am going to do it... I am going to make the first move I had made in over three years...

"... This is my new boyfriend..."











WHAT THE F*** JUST HAPPENED?!?!?!?! THE WHOLE WORLD HAS GONE CRAZY AND MY HEART JUST LEPT OUT OF MY CHEST AND LAUGHED AT ME FOR LISTENING TO IT!!!!!!!

"I hope you two are happy together..."





So what the hell was I to do?!

Answers on a postcard to the address which will be shown at the end of the life I claim to lead... Maybe then I would get answers...

Anyway... I am going to play countywide hide and seek in cars... Much more fun that my weekend...

That is if I can be bothered to think about anything else...



Angels Watch Over You
J xxx